Level 1 Guy: Chapter 509 – butt wiping joke

Published by Shiro on

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“It seems that the rumour about Ferrum is true.” (Elza)


 In the evening salon, the friends gather for a relaxing time.

 In contrast to the usual relaxed atmosphere, Elza’s expression was serious.


 The adventurers, the merchants and the spirits all looked at her with silence.


“So, is it confirmed that the price of paper in general will rise?” (Alice)

“It definitely will.” (Elza)

“I see. ……” (Ryouta)

“I looked at past examples and did some calculations to see what would happen. Ena.” (Elza)

“I also exchanged opinions with several buyers and came up with a rough figure.” (Ena)


 Multiple buyers is a big deal, isn’t it?


“The symbolic story is …… toilet paper going up to about 2000 Piro a roll.” (Elza)

“That’s expensive!” (Ryouta)

“Ehhhhhh! That much?” (Sakura)


 Sakura and I were the first to raise our voices.

 We’re Japanese.

 We feel that toilet paper is cheap and can be used for free in public toilets.

 But at 2,000 piro (yen) a roll, it was.


“It really depends on the dungeon, doesn’t it?” (Elza)

“I thought you didn’t need all that stuff, but thanks Elza.” (Sakura)


 Sakura thanked Elza.

 She didn’t know about the oil crisis itself (which was another culture shock for me), but when she saw the amount of toilet paper, she said it was over the top, but when she heard it was 2,000 piro per roll, she couldn’t help but be grateful.


“Aahh!” (Sakura)

“What’s the matter?” (Ryouta)

“I need paper to use Genesis.” (Sakura)

“That’s all right then. I’ve got enough for a year. For Sakura-san.” (Elza)

“Really! Thank you. I’ll pay you later.” (Sakura)

“Yes.” (Elza)


 Sakura turned pale when she realised she was in trouble, and Elza anticipated it.


 Sakura thanked Elza, and they became closer.


 I turned around and turned the water on Eve, who was chewing on a carrot without a care in the world.


“You take care of yourself, Eve.” (Ryouta)

“Bunny has to?” (Eve)

“Yeah, you’re seeing Californium every day now, aren’t you? That’s the worst place to be if something happens to you.” (Ryouta)


 After all, it’s a money-producing place.


 If there was no new gold being produced at all, business would stop.

 It’s not impossible to barter your way out of it, but the chaos is unparalleled in other dungeons.


“That’s okay, Bunny is soul friends with him.” (Eve)

“Soul friend?” (Ryouta)

“We’ve been talking about low-level stuff a lot today.” (Eve)

“That ‘low level’ doesn’t refer to anyone in particular, does it?” (Ryouta)


 I went into a big huff.

 It’s a bit of a mixed feeling when people start swearing at you when you don’t even know them.


 But, well.


 If you’re that close, it’s okay.

 Strongly adhere to their own commitment, nothing else matters.


 It’s a common trait among spirits, and Eve is very much like that.

 She’ll be fine, I thought.


“But the longer it goes on, the better. I’ve got a big stock of various papers thanks to Elza, but we’re a big family, so it can’t last forever.” (Ryouta)

“That’s okay, I’ll take care of it.” (Aurum)

“You will, Aurum? What do you mean, leave it to me? Do you mean that you’ll give me the money to buy the paper?” (Ryouta)

“No, that’s too complicated. Why don’t you just do this?” (Aurum)


 Aurum held up her hand.

 Then, in the palm of her hand, something flat, clear and golden appeared.


 It looked like a piece of A4 paper. ……


“…… What’s this?” (Ryouta)

“I’m Aurum, remember? Of course it’s gold.” (Aurum)

“Gold.” (Ryouta)

“It’s called gold leaf.” (Aurum)

“Gold leaf.” (Ryouta)

“If you don’t have paper, why don’t you wipe it with gold leaf?” (Aurum)

“What Antoinette! I’d rather burn paper money for light.” (Ryouta)


 Gold leaf on your bum, bum.


 What kind of super rich guy are you?


“Doesn’t it make your ass look nice?”


 My brain is playing a self-replaying line that makes me question my sanity.


“Mera-mera says he’ll give you some paper if you want it.” (Alice)

“Thank you! But that’s straight up no good!” (Ryouta)


 Meramera – Phosphorus.


 The spirit of Phosphorus, who makes paper money drop.

 Sure, it’s paper too, but it’s still bad.


“…… (tug tug)” (Vanadium)

“Hmm? What’s up, Vanadium?” (Ryouta)


 Tugging at my hem, Vanadium summoned her dungeon monster, cotton wool.

 It popped, and a small amount of water spurted upwards like a fountain.


“Hmm? Um, what do you mean?” (Ryouta)

“…… (point point).” (Vanadium)


 Vanadium pointed at my butt.

 Um, …….


“I think it means it’s going to do a washlet.” (Sakura)


 Sakura explained.


“Huh? Oh you’re going to wash my butt?” (Ryouta)

“…… (nod nod).” (Vanadium)


 Vanadium nodded several times, “Hmph!” She snorted like that.


“Thanks a lot.” (Ryouta)


 I patted Vanadium on the head without poking her.

 Vanadium clung to me happily.

 I don’t want to poke her, but I can’t believe I’m letting a spirit use the bidet! Or something like that.


 But Vanadium still needs praise.

 I know I’m spoiling her a bit, but she still deserves it.


“Oh, I think if you ask Arsenic-san, he’ll give you lots of flowers. That’s what they smell like, too.” (Emily)

“Thanks Emily, but that’s not what I meant.” (Ryouta)


 There were a lot of outrageous stories, and the fact that the spirits themselves were doing it in the first place just added to the outrageousness.


 The spirits themselves take part in a big joke.


 How do you clean your butt with spirit?


 The evening salon went on with such silliness, in a grand digression from the first story.

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Wave your arms around like a kawai twat

1 Comment

SFcipher · 19th July 2022 at 5:29 AM

Until next time, thanks for the treat. Ciao.

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